The question I’m asked most often as a defense attorney is whether I can tell if my clients are innocent or guilty.
I don’t care.
and you know what? here’s even MORE aus:
- i keep callling tech support because you’re helpful and also your voice is really cute au
- rival ice cream trucks au
- you helped me get my kayak upright so we’re friends forever au
- competitive buskers who eventually form a band au
- pen pals who vent at each other every week au
- newspaper advice columnists who passive-aggressively diss one another in their advice au
- working at a theatre together during the midnight premiere of a blockbuster au
If men aren’t allowed to have an opinion on abortion, then they shouldn’t have to contribute to federal funding of breast cancer research.
"if i cant control a woman’s body, then i want that body to die"
(p.s. anyone can get breast cancer)
shoutout to all the hufflepuffs and ravenclaws who only get a quarter of the merch opportunities as everyone else
Into each generation a Slayer is born, one girl in all the world, a Chosen One, one born with the strength and skill to hunt the vampires, to stop the spread of their evil blah, blah, blah… I’ve heard it, okay?
"I would have preferred this writer explore these ideas" is an opinion.
"This writer has trouble with certain aspects of story-telling" is a criticism.
"This writer sucks and is talentless" is a mean-spirited insult.
"This writer should die" is a vile, shitty thing for which there is no excuse for saying.
Please learn the difference and please don’t pretend you’re doing one of the two former when you’re doing one of the two latter.
why was girl at school walking around with a goddamn starbucks cup wtf
and i’m not saying that bc “ughhhh girls and their starbucks”
there are no starbucks in this country…. the closest one is 220 miles away
so…. did she come back from the one…
but mom how will other people know that you, a white Texan, are a Christian
I bet those two are couple now..
what haircuts tell you about sexuality:
- straight girls all have long hair
- lesbians always have short hair
- bisexuals wear an elegant yet easy to maintain bob
- asexuals shave their head in the style of the pious monk
- pansexuals put pans on their head. they put a fucking pan on th
No no no no, just no. OMG enough with the stereotypes, I’m 100% lesbian with a damn long hair. Stop it.
Did you even read it till the end?
girls think having a period sucks but try having to fix your penis discreetly through your pocket
having the insides of your organs shed and come out through your genitals does not compare to having displaced balls sorry
none of you can do it discreetly anyways
we see you
everyone sees you
"And then I said, ‘Look, if you don’t carry it in a muted pastel, I’m not interested!”
if u are scared or worried or stressed please just remember that even if you mess up super badly, doggies on the street will still tug on their owners when u walk by because they wanna say hello to u so badlyThis is legitimately comforting.